Things That Are Dumb.

1. Reality TV

2. Mosquitoes

3.Religions having to do with spaghetti

4. My physics class

5.Fighting with your siblings over the bathroom

6. Sheep

7. Me

I am a very dumb person and I have just fully come to understand that fact (hence further proving this truth!)

See, I just keep doing these things and they are VERY DUMB.

So first of all, I performed a couple songs that I wrote for my school today.  The whole time I was worrying about what people thought of ME, if they would like MY voice, MY words, MY guitar-playing skills.  Even though the songs I had written were about God, I certainly thought little of Him today.  But He was thinking of me.

After I performed, a girl who I've never met before came up to me.

     "Maggie, you were so good!  I loved your songs!"

     "Aww, thanks!"  I replied.

     "And guess what?"  She said shyly, "I know what your songs were about!" 

     "Really?"  I grinned.

     "Yea, you're a Christian, aren't you?"

      I laughed.  "Yep!"
     "I knew it!"  She beamed, "I was so excited when I heard what you were singing about!"

I thanked her again and asked what her name was.  She said it was Lauren.

     Well thank you again, Lauren.  For showing me how dumb I am.  Here I am worrying about if people like me and if I'll mess up and all sorts of other things, and all the while God was using my song to encourage someone else.  If that was the only good that came out of my performance, it was totally worth it.

     And here's another thing that I will be less specific about.  I have been struggling with many temptations these past couple of weeks.  Maybe it's because of stress or lack of sleep but whatever the case it  has just been a really bad....month.  I was planning on doing something pretty dumb, and I knew that God could hear my every thought and search the depths of my heart but I didn't care.  I was just kind of saying, "Whatever, God.  I'll do what I want when I want to because I CAN."  Which of course, is dumb in itself.  He had every right to come down and lecture me like he did to Job (chapter 38): 

"Who is this who darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?
³ Now prepare yourself like a man;
I will question you, and you shall answer Me.

⁴ “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding.
⁵ Who determined its measurements?
Surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
⁶ To what were its foundations fastened?
Or who laid its cornerstone,
⁷ When the morning stars sang together,
And all the sons of God shouted for joy?"

I mean, He didn't actually come down and say all that to me.  He didn't have to.

     Because here I am, about to do this dumb thing, and GOD USES IT FOR HIMSELF.  Right?  I mean, he just plain worked it all out according to His own plan.  I wish I could give you more detail than that, but just trust me when I say that it was pretty crazy.

Am I surprised?  No.  

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” 

Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” 

  

     You know, in the bible, God compares us to sheep many times.  I don't know much about sheep, but if I know anything, it's that they are very DUMB.  But when they follow their shepherd, they do what is best for them.  They are safe and happy under his watch.  

     No, thinking about it, I am not surprised at all.

Punctuation-less Poem

nOiSe

Laughter Chatter Squeals Cries Footsteps Doors Pages turning Books dropping Hands slapping SMACK SWOOSH BOOM SMASH CLANG FLICK hahahahahahaha

My head is pounding  My eyes are strained  My feet are numb

Hands are shaking  Brow is sweating  Pulse is quickening

Is this what happiness looks like or 

what loneliness feels like or 

maybe both or 

neither

Everyone has an agenda

      Yet I am just standing here

             An unimportant grain of sand in a never ending sea of crushed rocks that have existed longer than                  any human can remember or a huge fiery land mass million miles away that most people just

             ignore because from their point of view I am insignificant

I can be what anyone wants me to be      believe me I have tried

                                                                                           but it is     E     m      p      t     Y

a   s m b c a r l e d   m s e s   t a h t   n b o d o y   c a n   u t n a n l g e

Maybe we become who we really are when we STOP listening to everyone else STOP trying to please everybody STOP playing the chameleon and START following

ONE VOICE

above all others

Maybe we become who we are meant to be

who needs punctuation anyway

An Instrument Over the Telephone

I have a funny, embarrassing, amazingly wonderful story to tell.

Last week my cell phone rang, which was a new and exciting event because that obviously never happens.  I answered to hear, “Hello, you have been selected to take the following survey in order to win a free cruise to the Bahamas!”  Ahh, keep talking, automated voice!  I like the sound of this.  Miss Robot went on to ask me some dumb questions and I answered by pressing 1, 2, and occasionally 3 on my keypad.  Finally, my shining moment of success came.  She told me that I had indeed passed the survey, though I wonder what I could have done to fail it.  I had won two tickets to the Bahamas – woohoo!  Then a real voice came on and she asked me for my name.  Well, I panicked, imagining all of the horrible things these sketchy people do to me if they found me just by my name.  So naturally I blurted out, “Rachel Gomez,” who is my best friend (sorry to throw you under the bus like that Rach, love ya!)  The real voice said, “Thank you, Rachel, we will be in contact soon with the details of your free cruise.  Congratulations!”  And hung up.  I called Rachel right away, explained the situation, and warned her that the Russian Mafia could be after her and to take caution the next couple of days.  She was pretty forgiving of my little slip up.  I guess that’s one of the reasons I kind of like her a lot.

                So here I was… a week later… Tuesday, January 31^st 2012.  I was walking downstairs where I left my schoolbag just as I heard my cell ringing.  I answered it just in time.  A man that I guessed was between the ages of 20-35 says, “Hello, Rachel!  My name is Scott Russell.  I am a representative of the Survey Cruise blah, blah…”  Okay, the details are a little lost in my mind.  Hardly important.  So I was thinking, Wow, poor guy, I should just tell him that I’m not interested in this cruise thing.  Or I could just let him do his job and munch on this delicious dried blueberry rice-cake molasses ball.  (My mom is into healthy food these days, which means we all are).  So I let the guy talk for a while.  He told me to stop him if I have any questions.  He had quite the speech – he told me all about where the cruise leaves and returns, what’s on the cruise, casinos and pools and blah blah.  I was kind of daydreaming and giving him a few, “Mhmm.  Interesting,” comments every now and then.  All of the sudden I got this feeling.  I recognized the feeling right away and was a little irritated.  Really, God?  Right now?  You want me to witness to some telemarketer?  You’ve got to be joking.  So I ignored it, or at least tried, but the feeling just got stronger.  I can’t describe it – it’s like something is literally tugging at your heart, which pounds faster and faster which each consideration of the crazy thing the Lord is asking you to do.  So finally, I knew what I had to do.  As Jeremiah 20:9 says, “Then I said, ‘I will not make mention of Him, nor speak anymore in His name.’  But His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, I could not.”  When the Spirit is inside of you telling you to do something, how can you say no to that?

                “Uh, actually, I do have a question,” I interrupted him as he was talking about the different features the casino has to offer. 

                “Sure, go ahead!”  his chipper voice answered.

                “Scott, if you were to die tonight, do you know where you’d go?”  Oh great, Maggie.  Go with the cliché “If you died tonight” Christian pick-up line. 

                He paused for a moment.  “Of course I do,” he said.

                “Where would you go?”

                “Heaven.”

                “How do you know?”

                “Because I’m a good person.  I go to church every week and all.”

                “How do you define a ‘good person’?”

                “Well that’s just common sense!”  He says as if I had asked him what color the sky was.

                “But I’ve been told that we all make mistakes, that we’re all sinners.”

                “Well of course we’re human.  But you’ve just gotta look back on your mistakes and feel sorry about them.  That’s enough to get into Heaven.”

                “So what about Hitler?  What if he looked back on the mistakes he made and genuinely felt sorry for them?  Would he go to Heaven, then?”

                Scott was silent for a moment.

                “Hey listen, Scott.  I know you probably think I’m crazy, but God is telling me to talk to you about this right now.  Would it be alright if you gave me a minute of your time to tell you something?”

                “Well, sure, go ahead.”  Wow, I definitely thought he was going to hang up on me there.  Okay Maggie, here’s the green light, hit that gas pedal!

                I took a deep breath and told him the Good News from start to finish.  I talked about how even what little mistake in our lifetime is a big enough blotch to keep us from God because He is so holy and perfect.  I told him that God sent His only Son to live a human life and He never sinned, and then He died so that we could all live with Him forever.  I was so hyped and pumped with adrenaline I don’t know if I was crying or laughing or just shouting at the poor guy.

                “And you know what’s crazy, Scott?  All you have to do is admit that being good enough isn’t enough!  All you have to do is believe in God and believe that Jesus is the only way to Him!  God WANTS you, Scott.  He has put it on my heart to tell you this for a reason.”  I breathed again for the first time.  I couldn’t believe that he was still listening to me.  “So Scott, do me a favor and just think about it.”

                “I will,” he said.  “Thank you, Rachel.”  I wanted to cry when he said that.  I felt like a hypocrite lying to him about my name and preaching the Gospel at the same time.  So then I decided to at least come clean about one thing.

                “And uh, I don’t think this cruise thing is actually gonna work out for me.”

                He seemed to snap back into business mode as he asked, “Why not?”   

                “Well…” just tell the truth to this guy about something, Maggie.  I chuckled, “I don’t think my parents will let me.”  And that was really the truth.

                “What?!  How old are you?”

                Now I was really embarrassed.  “Seventeen,” I admitted.

                “Oh!  Well you’re not even old enough to go on the cruise,” He sounded almost sympathetic, which was amusing to me because I didn’t really care about the cruise at all!

                I laughed, “That’s okay, I really don’t care.  But I am sorry for taking up so much of your time.”

                “Oh it’s okay, I actually get paid by the hour.  So basically I’m getting paid to listen to you talk.”

Oh great, it’s really encouraging to know that me telling you the Gospel has made such an impact on your life. 

                “Well that’s good, I’m glad I didn’t waste your time.  And Scott, guess what?”

                “What?”

                “Heaven is going to be better than a million cruises.”

                He laughed.

                “I really hope to see you there someday,” I told him.  “And I’ll be praying for you.”

                “Thanks again!” he said, and sounded genuine.  We said goodbye.

                I’ll never talk to Scott Russell again, at least in this life.  He didn’t get down on his knees crying and confess his sins over the phone.  I’ll never know if he thought I was stupid, just humorous or if he actually took me seriously.  But it doesn’t matter, because we can’t change hearts or save people on our own.  Only the Lord can do that.  I did what He wanted me to do; I obeyed the Spirit’s tugging on my heart, and that’s really all we can do.  But isn’t it wonderful to be an instrument in God’s ultimate plan?  I’d do it over again a thousand times.  

He's Coming!

      I am standing at my host stand at California Pizza Kitchen, bored out of my mind.  Two customers have come in within the past twenty minutes, and all I can do is sit there and wait for more.  Maybe clean the windows and bathrooms.  Basically, that’s what I get paid to do.  Most of the time it feels pretty insignificant. 

      So there I am, standing in front of the glass doors that lead to our restaurant.  I look around at the outlet mall that is facing me from across the street.  Suddenly, I notice a pink light shining on the buildings.  I look out every window from every angle, and all I can see are pink, orange and yellow hues and glows reflected off Old Navy, Starbucks and more.  It doesn’t take a genius to realize that this light is coming from the sun.  But for the life of me, I can’t find it.  This becomes an obsession, and I make excuses to walk around the restaurant and look out the other windows - to no avail, of course.  I am very discouraged just imagining what a beautiful sunset I am missing.

      Then an analogy comes to mind.  I assume without thought that the beautiful sunset is there, even though I can’t see it.  In the same way, I can’t see the Son despite the aching in my heart to see Him.  Yet I can see evidence of Him in creation.  From the complex DNA and atoms swirling around our intricately designed bodies, to the magnificent canyons, rolling tides, mountains, valleys, stars, and of course - sunsets.  Creation will never fully satisfy my longings, but it’s a gift to hold me over during this short life on earth.  It’s my Lord saying, “I am coming soon.  Hold on to what you have…” Revelation 3:11.  He goes on to say, “Behold, I am coming soon!” at least four more times in the book of Revelation.  I am so thankful for His handiwork, a small taste of the riches that we will see in Heaven!  This psalmist’s marvelous description of creation echoes my thoughts completely:      

Psalm 104
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

O Lord my God, you are very great!

You are clothed with splendor and majesty,

2 covering yourself with light as with a garment,

stretching out the heavens like a tent.

3 He lays the beams of his chambers on the waters;

he makes the clouds his chariot;

he rides on the wings of the wind;

4 he makes his messengers winds,

his ministers a flaming fire.

5 He set the earth on its foundations,

so that it should never be moved.

6 You covered it with the deep as with a garment;

the waters stood above the mountains.

7 At your rebuke they fled;

at the sound of your thunder they took to flight.

8 The mountains rose, the valleys sank down

to the place that you appointed for them.

9 You set a boundary that they may not pass,

so that they might not again cover the earth.

10 You make springs gush forth in the valleys;

they flow between the hills;

11 they give drink to every beast of the field;

the wild donkeys quench their thirst.

12 Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell;

they sing among the branches.

13 From your lofty abode you water the mountains;

the earth is satisfied with the fruit of your work.

14 You cause the grass to grow for the livestock

and plants for man to cultivate,

that he may bring forth food from the earth

15 and wine to gladden the heart of man,

oil to make his face shine

and bread to strengthen man’s heart.

16 The trees of the Lord are watered abundantly,

the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.

17 In them the birds build their nests;

the stork has her home in the fir trees.

18 The high mountains are for the wild goats;

the rocks are a refuge for the rock badgers.

19 He made the moon to mark the seasons;

the sun knows its time for setting.

20 You make darkness, and it is night,

when all the beasts of the forest creep about.

21 The young lions roar for their prey,

seeking their food from God.

22 When the sun rises, they steal away

and lie down in their dens.

23 Man goes out to his work

and to his labor until the evening.

24 O Lord, how manifold are your works!

In wisdom have you made them all;

the earth is full of your creatures.

25 Here is the sea, great and wide,

which teems with creatures innumerable,

living things both small and great.

26 There go the ships,

and Leviathan, which you formed to play in it.

27 These all look to you,

to give them their food in due season.

28 When you give it to them, they gather it up;

when you open your hand, they are filled with good things.

29 When you hide your face, they are dismayed;

when you take away their breath, they die

and return to their dust.

30 When you send forth your Spirit, they are created,

and you renew the face of the ground.

31 May the glory of the Lord endure forever;

may the Lord rejoice in his works,

32 who looks on the earth and it trembles,

who touches the mountains and they smoke!

33 I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;

I will sing praise to my God while I have being.

34 May my meditation be pleasing to him,

for I rejoice in the Lord.

35 Let sinners be consumed from the earth,

and let the wicked be no more!

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Praise the Lord!

My Christmas Poem

There’s a door to my heart

You can open to find

A house full of rooms

And a clock that will chime

Ticking backwards, each second

‘Til the day that I die

Dirt stains on the carpet

From the souls that have trodden

A piano; out of tune

From the use that it’s gotten

Unlike the china in the cabinet

That has never been touched

I’m saving it for something special

I’m just not sure what

My hands trembled

As I called out, “Come in!”

I hoped you wouldn’t notice

The mess I’m living in

See, it seemed rather tidy

If one looked at the surface

But you walked toward the closet

Which made me nervous.

It was there I had stuffed

All my clothes and my clutter

Old photographs; trophies that read

“Daughter”-“Sister”-“Friend”-“Lover”

On the floor in the corner

A pack of gum I had stolen -

A test I had cheated on -

A list of words I had spoken

Embarrassed, I quickly shut the door.

An armchair in the living room

Leather, green and worn

I invited you to sit there

And awaited your scorn

But you sat there quietly

Started humming a song

Of words so familiar

I had forgotten for long

I offered a spare key

But you wanted the original

I hesitated, saying

“First let me clean up this mess I made

You must be disgusted

I feel so ashamed”

You smiled and looked to that closet door

“Child, I’ve already done it for you.”

I walked to the door

I opened it to find

A little baby boy

Under a star shining bright

The fireplace was crackling

That’s where you disposed

Of the things that at one time

Knew my heart as their home.

Unfaithful

Lyrics to a song by Brooke Fraser:

“We are Hosea’s wife,
We’re squandering this life.
Using people like ladders and words like knives.
We are Hosea’s wife,
We’re squandering this life.
Using bodies like money and truth like lies.
We are more than dust,
That means something.
We are more than just
Blood and emotions,
Inklings and notions,
Atoms on oceans.
…What do I live for?”

Have you ever read the story of Hosea?  It’s one of my favorites in the Bible.  The first time I read it was on February 14th, 2010.  I distinctly remember because it was Valentine’s Day and I was bummed.  I am such a romantic deep down and there is part of me constantly longing to have a boyfriend.  I want to feel loved and protected and heck - cherished for all that I’m worth!  I want someone to appreciate my curly hair, my temper, my thirst for knowledge, my crazy personality, my love for creating music, and my horrible impulsiveness.  The good and the bad.  Now tell me, what girl doesn’t want that?  

It’s not wrong to want this.  I know, because God created me to be a young woman who longed for these things.  But He also knows that there is only one who can satisfy these longings.  On Valentine’s Day of 2010, He showed me why I was feeling all of these things.

“Go, take yourself a wife of harlotry
      And children of harlotry,
      For the land has committed great harlotry
      By departing from the LORD.”   (1:2)

God told Hosea to marry a whore - no, that is not me using coarse language.  I mean it literally.  A prostitute.  Why?  To show Hosea how He felt.  To symbolize the Lord’s relationship with “the land.”  Israel, God’s chosen and beloved people, had been unfaithful to Him.  Because I have been adopted into the Lord’s family (1 John 1:12), I am apart of that chosen and beloved people.  Which means that I have been unfaithful to God, too.

    “‘I will punish her
      For the days of the Baals to which she burned incense.
      She decked herself with her earrings and jewelry,
      And went after her lovers;
      But Me she forgot,’ says the LORD.” (2:13).

That’s me.  How many days have I spent an hour getting ready for school, with make-up and clothes and jewelry, but only five or ten minutes with God (if I even spent time with Him at all).  I have forgotten about Him so many times.  I have run “after my lovers,” too.  Does this boy like me?  Do I like him?  Giving my heart away to young men with good intentions, but their intentions don’t matter.  What matters is that I forgot my first love (Revelation 2:4).  I have been unfaithful.  But wait!  2 Timothy 2:13 says, “If we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.”  So how does that connect to the story of Hosea’s wife (Israel)?

     “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
       Will bring her into the wilderness,
       And speak comfort to her.
       I will give her her vineyards from there,
       And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;
       She shall sing there,
       As in the days of her youth,
       As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.
       “And it shall be, in that day,”
       Says the LORD,
       “That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’
       And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’ “ (2:14-16).

Wow.  So God decided not to give up on His good-for-nothin-cheatin-wife.  He called us back to Himself.  He comforts me - I don’t have to feel guilty for my past or for being unfaithful to God.  Because He is no longer my Master, He is my husband!  Wait… HUSBAND?

     “ I will betroth you to Me forever;
      Yes, I will betroth you to Me
      In righteousness and justice,
      In lovingkindness and mercy;
      I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
      And you shall know the LORD.” (2:19-20).

He has betrothed me to Him in faithfulness.  Where I am weak, He is strong.  Where I am unfaithful, He is always faithful.  He has forgiven me for my unfaithfulness.  He is my true love.

The rest of Hosea continues with this timeless love story about the dashing Hero who will stop at nothing to win over his bride.  In fact, if you read on all the way to the New Testament, you will find that He gives His LIFE for His bride. 

What more could a girl ask for?

How could we say no to this gift, this declaration of unconditional love?

What are we going to live for?